1. Being Single is a CHOICE, Not a Curse: Well yes. Right now, I am choosing to be single. But no one is cursed or destined to be alone forever. That's just cruel. You choose your choice, whether that is waiting to find that perfect soulmate (that you have envisioned in your mind), or you're with someone that just makes you happy. Everyone has different needs on the happy scale.
2. Take Care of your Looks, But Know That Looks Are Not Everything: Moral of this lesson is #stayready. You don't need to change your looks, but keep what you have in it's prime condition. This is for you AND your potential partner. Just remember that feeling you have when you come out of the hairdresser. (Insert hair flip)
3. Don't Wait For Love, Go Out and Find It: I think this is pretty self explanatory. If you aren't out in the world, how is anyone supposed to know you're there?
4. You Can Say No: This is one I have the most trouble with. Desperation often takes over and i'll take any attention I can get. If he isn't someone you would want to introduce to your friends, it's probably a red flag.
5. If He's Acting Like He Doesn't Give A Shit, He Doesn't Give A Shit: DING DING DING! This is my favorite one. We spend so much time and mental exhausting trying to figure out what men are thinking and their strategy to their actions, but reality? There is none. He you aren't hearing from him, it's because he's doesn't want you to. Plain and simple. It would be nice to think there was some other alternative game, but sometimes, he's just not into you.
6. Risk Rejection: I have a major fear of rejection. In all elements of my life. But the more I date, the less I fear rejection by a guy. Just like in #5, if he's not into me, then less energy I have to waste on him and the sooner I can move onto the next one. As soon as I send a few revolver emojiis to my friend to express my trauma....
7. Sex Does Not Equal Love: Any girl above the age of 21 who still believes sex equals love, must keep her legs closed until date #10. Times have changed and sex is definitely an important part of the relationship. How do I know I love someone if I don't know what the sex is like? You wouldn't buy a car without test-driving it first.
8. Don't Drop Your Friends: You will need them to survive your relationship.
9. Make the Most of the Opportunities You Have Now: Don't take anyone for granted. Be a good person. Fuck buddy or boyfriend, you never know where something will end up in 10 years.
10. And Above All...Love Theyself!: Well duh, #firstcomesme.
My addendums:
11. Don't Think Ahead More Than 2 Dates: This is a problem I always have. By the middle of our first date if it is going well, I am already thinking of what 3 concerts we could go to this summer and what weekend you should come with me up to my parents Cape house. Yes, I know, it sounds crazy. But it's tough to tame the excitement when you meet someone you really connect with! Keep your mind at bay, and try not to think ahead more than 2 dates. 1 or 2 dates keeps you thinking if you want to see this person again, but after that, it's too much. Obviously if your dating and contemplating marriage, that's a different story!
12. Keep Some Things to Yourself: I'm an oversharer, so I often find once I start telling all my friends and family about someone, all their opinions mesh with mind and I forget how I really feel. I fully support getting advice from friends and sharing your excitement, but they are not a part of your relationship, so keep some thing to yourself.
13. If You're Not Into It, You Don't Have to Be: This goes along with "you can say no," but we will often justify why we should stay with someone or should "want" to be with them. "But he's such a good guy." "But he's so hot." That's great, if you don't like him, those will get old and then you will have wasted time with a placeholder.
Most importantly remember, you are:
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