So This Just Happened

This is a real conversation I just had with a guy I'm getting to know. Met on Tinder. Been trying to make a date for a couple weeks.  I literally don't know how to respond. I know he means it as a compliment, but thanks for asking the same fucking questions I ask myself everyday.

Why "We" really means "Me"

For past 4 years, I have produced the Boston Student Film Fest. It’s a passion project of mine, having always loved Film Festivals and seeing a need for one that showcases talent in a city overrun with students.  Its definitely been challenging, putting everything I have into it while maintaining a day to day career. There is so much potential with it, but also comes so much time and management. I’m proud that I’ve been able to keep it up while living in pretty much every state except Massachusetts. I put an immense amount of pressure on myself each year, which is crazy because the only one with any real expectations is myself (per usual).

I’m writing about this today because A) the Fest is this weekend and B) while writing my opening remarks, I kept finding myself write “We.” “We are so excited to be here for another year,” “We are so proud of all the filmmakers this year.” Truth. We = Me, Myself and I. I have a wonderful support system in my life that are there for me if I need them, but I am truly discrediting myself by advertising that more than one person takes on the stress of putting this thing on.

Yes – it sounds more professional and established to say “we.” Potential sponsors and partners then assume that “we” have our shit together. But I’m at the point of this event where I don’t want to be pretending that this happens each year because there is an imaginary group of people making phone calls and working late hours to put all the details together. That group of people is me and all my personalities.

“We” can be used as a safety net. When telling someone we aren’t moving forward with their film, it’s easier to use we so no one thinks I am the bad guy. If something goes wrong “we” didn’t forsee this issue and sincerely apologize.

I’ve decided to stop using we. Part of being secure in who you are is owning up to your accomplishments AND your failures. Putting yourself fully behind anything you do in life, whether it’s trying a new hair style or starting an organization, is important in shaping your love for yourself. By using “we,” I was letting through the doubt and insecurity I have in myself. I was holding back from taking ownership because I was afraid. I’m proud of the Boston Student Film Fest and I deserve to use “I.” Using “we” was not about being humble, professional or misleading. I was hiding behind it. But no longer. First comes me and out goes the “we.”

Closest to getting my name in lights!

Learn more about the Boston Student Film Fest here: www.bostonstudentfilmfest.com