Today is “Throwback Thursday.” Let me throwback to when I
actually kept up on this blog. It’s been at good 4-5 months and 2-3 guys since I’ve
put together a post. I don’t really have an excuse and I’m not going to do the
thing we all did in our diaries growing up “I will write in you everyday!”
because, well, I don’t want to set myself for failure. But I think this could
help me get the refresh I need.
Usually I love a good life refresh. Coming off of a
contract, relationship, moving to a new place, whatever the spark is, doesn’t
matter. Put me in a position that I need to organize a plan and execute on my
calendar gives me such a life orgasm. I’m not sure why I can’t seem to get my
shit together this time. Let me layout my current need for a refresh as quick
as possible:
Work: The US Open is over. My current job description kind
of looks like this: ???!@NSKD???? Meaning I can extend my contract as long as I
would like but I don’t quite know what I’m doing when I’m sitting the office.
As a career-oriented person who thrives off being busy, productive, and moving
forward, this is frustrating to me. I enjoy working here, but don’t want to
stay if it’s just going to stay status quo. Long story short, I don’t have a
plan yet and it’s making me anxious.
Love Life: My long-term ex and I haven’t spoken in over 2
months. No communication. Nada. The guy I was trying on in August and September
turned out to be keeping me as a back-burner bitch. An entire post dissecting
this I’m sure will come. I currently have a crush but I’m too much of a pussy
to make a move. Long story short, I’m alone again.
Friends: My friends are wonderful. I love everything about
them. Except their locations. They are scattered all over the country and this
wasn’t more apparent to me until when I found myself going through a break-up
and no one was bringing me over ice cream.
Family: ? Well. Status Quo.
Me: I’m realizing my attitude here may be a little pathetic.
Wah. I’m lonely and un-motivated. It’s the kind of thing I would usually ready
and think put your big girl panties on and fix it. Make a plan. Something I
love to do. However, I’ve been having trouble finding motivation to do that. I
can’t bring myself to hit that refresh button. Instead, I'm just watching the video while it's buffering, waiting in anticipation to let it play out.
I don’t know why it’s been tough to hit the refresh. Maybe I’m
out of refreshes and I need to close the browser and re-open. All I know is
that something needs to happen. CUE VEGAS.
It just so happens I have a lovely 9 days planned coming up.
Cape Cod - > Boston - > NY - > LA - > VEGAS! I’m pretty much
visiting the best of the best people in my life over the next 9 days, seeing
some of my favorite places in the country, and oh yes, dancing my ass off.
Without putting all my eggs in one basket, I can only hope some kind of clarity
of what the next step is in my life.
STAY TUNED
