Showing posts with label single. Show all posts
Showing posts with label single. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
So This Just Happened
This is a real conversation I just had with a guy I'm getting to know. Met on Tinder. Been trying to make a date for a couple weeks. I literally don't know how to respond. I know he means it as a compliment, but thanks for asking the same fucking questions I ask myself everyday.
Monday, May 11, 2015
Monday, March 23, 2015
Reasons Why I Love Living Alone
Through all of my emotional cutting and depressing thoughts this weekend, I have had a few moments of positivity that i'm going to focus on in the week to come. Sure its easy to focus on all the lonely feelings that come with living alone, and it's interesting that we don't seem to realize the positive until we are miserable living with someone else. So since I so badly wanted to be on my one and have some time to myself, its about time I focus on the great things about it!
1. I can eat my ice cream right out of the container.
2. I can leave Sex and the City episodes on loop while I clean around the house and no one tries to change it!
3. All closets are mine!
4. The bed is all yours (and you don't have to make it unless you have to send your mom a picture of your latest apartment addition).
5. I can leave my shoes everywhere and no one cares!
6. No one is judging you when you workout with no pants on.
7. No one witnesses when you binge watch YouTube videos of dogs reuniting with their owners who have been overseas and you bawl your eyes out for 3 hours.
8. I don't have to share my dog with anyone. She's only excited to see me :)
9. If I want to eat the same thing for breakfast, lunch and dinner, no one knows!
10. Did I mention privacy?
1. I can eat my ice cream right out of the container.
2. I can leave Sex and the City episodes on loop while I clean around the house and no one tries to change it!
3. All closets are mine!
4. The bed is all yours (and you don't have to make it unless you have to send your mom a picture of your latest apartment addition).
5. I can leave my shoes everywhere and no one cares!
6. No one is judging you when you workout with no pants on.
7. No one witnesses when you binge watch YouTube videos of dogs reuniting with their owners who have been overseas and you bawl your eyes out for 3 hours.
8. I don't have to share my dog with anyone. She's only excited to see me :)
9. If I want to eat the same thing for breakfast, lunch and dinner, no one knows!
10. Did I mention privacy?
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
Wednesday Words of Wisdom
There was a fantastic article today posted on Thought Catalog called "10 Pieces of Dating Advice I'd Give my Daughter" by Lara Bright. She outlines 10 rules you should live by when living in the world of singledom. May of them are things we all know, or people tell us, but we don't really follow. It's so much easier to complain about being alone and not finding a man then to take responsibility for our actions. I agree with most of what she says and have a few of my own to add....
1. Being Single is a CHOICE, Not a Curse: Well yes. Right now, I am choosing to be single. But no one is cursed or destined to be alone forever. That's just cruel. You choose your choice, whether that is waiting to find that perfect soulmate (that you have envisioned in your mind), or you're with someone that just makes you happy. Everyone has different needs on the happy scale.
2. Take Care of your Looks, But Know That Looks Are Not Everything: Moral of this lesson is #stayready. You don't need to change your looks, but keep what you have in it's prime condition. This is for you AND your potential partner. Just remember that feeling you have when you come out of the hairdresser. (Insert hair flip)
3. Don't Wait For Love, Go Out and Find It: I think this is pretty self explanatory. If you aren't out in the world, how is anyone supposed to know you're there?
4. You Can Say No: This is one I have the most trouble with. Desperation often takes over and i'll take any attention I can get. If he isn't someone you would want to introduce to your friends, it's probably a red flag.
5. If He's Acting Like He Doesn't Give A Shit, He Doesn't Give A Shit: DING DING DING! This is my favorite one. We spend so much time and mental exhausting trying to figure out what men are thinking and their strategy to their actions, but reality? There is none. He you aren't hearing from him, it's because he's doesn't want you to. Plain and simple. It would be nice to think there was some other alternative game, but sometimes, he's just not into you.
6. Risk Rejection: I have a major fear of rejection. In all elements of my life. But the more I date, the less I fear rejection by a guy. Just like in #5, if he's not into me, then less energy I have to waste on him and the sooner I can move onto the next one. As soon as I send a few revolver emojiis to my friend to express my trauma....
7. Sex Does Not Equal Love: Any girl above the age of 21 who still believes sex equals love, must keep her legs closed until date #10. Times have changed and sex is definitely an important part of the relationship. How do I know I love someone if I don't know what the sex is like? You wouldn't buy a car without test-driving it first.
8. Don't Drop Your Friends: You will need them to survive your relationship.
9. Make the Most of the Opportunities You Have Now: Don't take anyone for granted. Be a good person. Fuck buddy or boyfriend, you never know where something will end up in 10 years.
10. And Above All...Love Theyself!: Well duh, #firstcomesme.
My addendums:
11. Don't Think Ahead More Than 2 Dates: This is a problem I always have. By the middle of our first date if it is going well, I am already thinking of what 3 concerts we could go to this summer and what weekend you should come with me up to my parents Cape house. Yes, I know, it sounds crazy. But it's tough to tame the excitement when you meet someone you really connect with! Keep your mind at bay, and try not to think ahead more than 2 dates. 1 or 2 dates keeps you thinking if you want to see this person again, but after that, it's too much. Obviously if your dating and contemplating marriage, that's a different story!
12. Keep Some Things to Yourself: I'm an oversharer, so I often find once I start telling all my friends and family about someone, all their opinions mesh with mind and I forget how I really feel. I fully support getting advice from friends and sharing your excitement, but they are not a part of your relationship, so keep some thing to yourself.
13. If You're Not Into It, You Don't Have to Be: This goes along with "you can say no," but we will often justify why we should stay with someone or should "want" to be with them. "But he's such a good guy." "But he's so hot." That's great, if you don't like him, those will get old and then you will have wasted time with a placeholder.
Most importantly remember, you are:
1. Being Single is a CHOICE, Not a Curse: Well yes. Right now, I am choosing to be single. But no one is cursed or destined to be alone forever. That's just cruel. You choose your choice, whether that is waiting to find that perfect soulmate (that you have envisioned in your mind), or you're with someone that just makes you happy. Everyone has different needs on the happy scale.
2. Take Care of your Looks, But Know That Looks Are Not Everything: Moral of this lesson is #stayready. You don't need to change your looks, but keep what you have in it's prime condition. This is for you AND your potential partner. Just remember that feeling you have when you come out of the hairdresser. (Insert hair flip)
3. Don't Wait For Love, Go Out and Find It: I think this is pretty self explanatory. If you aren't out in the world, how is anyone supposed to know you're there?
4. You Can Say No: This is one I have the most trouble with. Desperation often takes over and i'll take any attention I can get. If he isn't someone you would want to introduce to your friends, it's probably a red flag.
5. If He's Acting Like He Doesn't Give A Shit, He Doesn't Give A Shit: DING DING DING! This is my favorite one. We spend so much time and mental exhausting trying to figure out what men are thinking and their strategy to their actions, but reality? There is none. He you aren't hearing from him, it's because he's doesn't want you to. Plain and simple. It would be nice to think there was some other alternative game, but sometimes, he's just not into you.
6. Risk Rejection: I have a major fear of rejection. In all elements of my life. But the more I date, the less I fear rejection by a guy. Just like in #5, if he's not into me, then less energy I have to waste on him and the sooner I can move onto the next one. As soon as I send a few revolver emojiis to my friend to express my trauma....
7. Sex Does Not Equal Love: Any girl above the age of 21 who still believes sex equals love, must keep her legs closed until date #10. Times have changed and sex is definitely an important part of the relationship. How do I know I love someone if I don't know what the sex is like? You wouldn't buy a car without test-driving it first.
8. Don't Drop Your Friends: You will need them to survive your relationship.
9. Make the Most of the Opportunities You Have Now: Don't take anyone for granted. Be a good person. Fuck buddy or boyfriend, you never know where something will end up in 10 years.
10. And Above All...Love Theyself!: Well duh, #firstcomesme.
My addendums:
11. Don't Think Ahead More Than 2 Dates: This is a problem I always have. By the middle of our first date if it is going well, I am already thinking of what 3 concerts we could go to this summer and what weekend you should come with me up to my parents Cape house. Yes, I know, it sounds crazy. But it's tough to tame the excitement when you meet someone you really connect with! Keep your mind at bay, and try not to think ahead more than 2 dates. 1 or 2 dates keeps you thinking if you want to see this person again, but after that, it's too much. Obviously if your dating and contemplating marriage, that's a different story!
12. Keep Some Things to Yourself: I'm an oversharer, so I often find once I start telling all my friends and family about someone, all their opinions mesh with mind and I forget how I really feel. I fully support getting advice from friends and sharing your excitement, but they are not a part of your relationship, so keep some thing to yourself.
13. If You're Not Into It, You Don't Have to Be: This goes along with "you can say no," but we will often justify why we should stay with someone or should "want" to be with them. "But he's such a good guy." "But he's so hot." That's great, if you don't like him, those will get old and then you will have wasted time with a placeholder.
Most importantly remember, you are:
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