Usually I give up something for lent that will save me calories. Soda, chocolate, something that I always feel guilty about when I consume. What I decided to give up actually can make me feel even guiltier: MEN. It's been quite the year learning about the dating world. I had great dates, terrible dates, flings that went too far and some that didn't go far enough. It's mentally exhausting when I truly sit down to think about it. Then I have to add in the whole factor that I can be completely reliant on male attention to make me happy. If i'm not texting with someone or matching or snapping or getting likes from a male from the past, present or future, I completely let it get the best of me. It's something that I am 100% aware of about myself yet can't seem to shake it! It's how i've always been, and definitely a big motivator for me to focus on putting myself first.
I'm on Day 3 and I already feel free. It helps and hurts that i'm in another transitional period of my life. Helps, because i'm distracted with unpacking, organizing, job hunting and now blogging! But hurts because this is usually when I would feel so excited to wipe the slate clean, fire up tinder and see who is new in the area. Fighting my instinct to find a male to talk to in order to make my day feel complete, feels so shitty and makes me feel so happy at the same time. I think that spending these 40 days (really 46 because i'm not gonna take a break on Sundays ;) ), without searching for men, will make me feel so satisfied and fuel my fire on this #firstcomesme journey. Quite a while to go -- stay tuned.
In the meantime, here are some beautiful words from someone we all have a girl crush on:
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